Who We Are

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It’s more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.”—Anthony Robbins

At first glance, many things in life seem impossible—climbing the mountain, finishing the marathon, losing the excess weight, writing a book, finding that life-time love… The list could go on and on, especially when that demon, self-doubt, hovers on our shoulder and whispers “little uglies” into our ear to gnaw at our soul and halt us into a state of mediocrity, or worse, self-deprecation.

Thirty two years ago, at the age of seventeen when I said goodbye to my first love, Paco, from the airport in Lima, Peru (which you can read all about HERE), I would have thought it impossible for the two of us to ever have a life together. There were simply too many obstacles creating self-doubt and gnawing at my soul...most obviously, the fact that he lived in South America, with no plans of ever living anywhere but his beloved Peru, and I lived in North America, where I planned to remain.

 

 

Paco sent me a letter soon after I left Peru, but it remained unanswered. At that moment, the possibility of our future together halted (well, at least for twenty-eight years). Yup, quite possibly one of my greatest mistakes ever.

Thank goodness, a kind and loving Father in Heaven knows our capabilities—knows exactly who we are—and sees a much bigger picture. A lot happened between 1981 and 2009. Through many ups and downs, I grew stronger and eventually began to believe in myself. Reconnecting with Paco only served to help me understand my true potential.

And yet, the task to actually be together seemed daunting.

Our first hurdle was to tackle US immigration, and let me tell you, the LEGAL immigration process is neither simple nor swift. From the day we married, until the day Paco and the girls entered the US (all chronicled HERE), it took 15 months and thousands of dollars. Unable to afford an attorney, I did all the paperwork myself—no simple task.

 

 

I’ll never forget the day Paco and the girls finally arrived! We’d reached our happily-ever-after, right?

Reality check.

This was just the beginning.

But we were together…finally.

So my amazing husband, who had created a life and career for himself in Peru, was required to start over entirely. With a degree in banking administration, sixteen-years in the banking industry, another seven as an insurance executive, and nearly twenty years overall working in a managerial capacity, he was running into walls in every direction. It seemed that every employer in the US wanted someone with work experience…in the US!

My Dear One, eager to work, wherever it may be, who’d given up suits and ties and a 14^th floor office with a view in Mira Flores, took the first job offered to him in the United States of America. He became a night stocker in a grocery store.

As the oldest on the crew, his co-workers lovingly referred to him as Papi. Physically, this was a difficult time for Paco. (Can you say aching knees and lower back?) Emotionally this was a difficult time for me. I felt incredible guilty and responsible. How could I have brought him here to work in this capacity when he had his own secretary and chauffeur in Peru? He’d given up everything to be with me and I was certain I’d ruined, if not his life, certainly his career.

Those little uglies were doing their best (or worst) on me.

Paco, however, maintained an intense belief in himself and his capabilities. For now, he was Papi—best night stocker on the crew, with the best stories, jokes, and work ethic. His faith was unwavering.

“This is only temporary,” he’d say. “A stepping stone to something greater.”

He was correct.

The night stocking position led into a sales/chef position within the store, which gave him work experience within the United States. After a year, when he once again applied to various banks within the area, Paco was quickly hired as a teller (and actually received two job offers from two separate banks within the same day).

Today he works as a Personal Banker for one of the most recognized and respected banks in the country, breaking sales records on a regular basis. He is once again back in an office and wearing a suit and tie.

 

 

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It’s more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.”—Anthony Robbins

Paco not only knew he was a banker, he knew that with determination and hard work, he’d be the best at whatever job he did. He has held an intense belief of who he is from his earliest job venture as a teen selling chickens to neighborhood ladies from the back of his car, to stocking grocery store shelves in the middle of the night, to managing hundreds of employees.

But most of all, he believes in us.

What more could I ask?

 

Tamra Torero is Wife to Paco, Momma to nine, Grandma of two, Bakery Manager, author of Shayla Witherwood: A Half-Faerie Tale and co-author of a Christmas novel, The Lost Son, with her son, Preston Norton. Along with a fierce belief in herself, Tamra believes in fairies, half-faeries, and magic of all sorts--especially the kind found in books!