From the Mouths of Moms

Sometimes when I open my mouth, my mother comes out…

I read this statement the other day and couldn’t stop grinning…partly because my momma is coming to visit from Idaho a week from today and I’m so dang excited, but mostly because it’s just so true.

I have become my mother!

Now, knocking on the door of The Big Five-0 (gulp), the similarities are a little eerie (or wonderful), depending on my mood, and how much I’m missing my momma, I suppose.

Mom gave birth to seven kids. I’ve given birth to seven kids.

Mom raised two step-daughters since they were very young, and who have always known her as “Mom,” and I’m doing the same. The other day I threw that silly old question out to Paco (because I always love to hear the million different ways he answers it): How much do you love me?

This time, his response nearly brought tears to my eyes: I love you so much, not only because you are my beautiful wife and I know I’ll grow old with you by my side, but because you have become a mother to my girls—someone they can always depend on and who is always there for them. I have to admit, the role of step-mom has re-defined this whole motherhood gig (read Anatomy of a Stepparent), but I can’t imagine my life for one minute without the addition of these two girls. And once again, I follow in my momma’s footsteps.

Growing up, Mom said many things I didn’t agree with…or didn’t want to at the time. Now, all these years later, it’s amazing how often I open my own mouth, and hear my own mom:

·         (Spoken as my sister and I were about to strangle or mortally wound each other) When you two grow up, you’re gonna be each other’s best friend. I HATED when Mom said this. At the time all I cared about was turning my sister into applesauce (physically, emotionally, or both). Now I’m the one singing Mom’s song. My two oldest daughters heard this from me for years and are now incredibly close (told you so). The youngest three are still in the throes of “applesauce” production. As for the relationship between my own sisters—READ THIS.

·         Kill ‘em with kindness. Mom offered these words of wisdom often, but most notably during a brief period of time in junior high when I was being bullied by a particular group of girls in one class. Mom went on to say, “Don’t let them bother you. Act like nothing is wrong, and pretty soon they’ll forget they’re even trying to bother you.” So I did. And they did. And when my own kids have met with a similar crisis, I’ve offered this same advice, further explaining, “These kids trying to bother you only have as much power as you give them.” So far, so good.

·         Kid Me: “But Mom, It’s not faaaaaiiiiiirrrrr…” (generally referring to one of my siblings getting or doing something that I wasn’t getting or doing and always said in a whiney voice. Mom (always calm and cool and matter-of-fact): Life’s not fair. I have to admit, I hated it when my mom said this, and it’s one of my favorite Mom-isms today…because, well…it’s just true. I’d like to think my follow-up to this statement is something like, “so be grateful for what you have,” and I’m sure at times it is. But it also might be something like, “so get over it already.” I'm a work in progress.

There are a million more ways and reasons why I’m like my mom, but I hope the reason by which my kids remember me the most is that I love them with all my heart, which happens to run at a 900% capacity—a strange phenomenon I learned by who else, but my mom.

 

Tamra Torero is Wife to Paco, Momma to nine, Grandma of two, Bakery Manager, author of Shayla Witherwood: A Half-Faerie Tale and co-author of a Christmas novel, The Lost Son, with her son, Preston Norton. She has grown up to be what she's always wanted to be--a mom (with New York Times Bestselling Author being a close second...and not YET achieved).